Anyone who follows our Facebook page will know that I’m pregnant again, very pregnant in fact; currently a week overdue.
This morning while I was in the shower trying to reach my own legs with the shower puff, squishing my unborn child and trying not to over balance, it occurred to me – perhaps I should view these ‘extra’ pregnant days as my last opportunities to commit my day-to-day life as a mother of one to memory.
It’s hard; mine and my toddler’s relationship has had to adapt a lot already. My current pregnant state means that I’m much less active (and probably in his eyes, far less fun), and we’ve been going out and about much less, not daring to venture too far in case the baby suddenly decides that she’s ready to make her appearance. We’ve also had much less time just us two as we’ve had a Grandma-relay-team staying to provide on the spot childcare when labour finally does begin.
But there are many ‘normal’ moments too. Many that I usually take for granted, but that may be completely different in just a few days, or even by tomorrow. I want to remember these moments: Him waking up in his newly discovered big boy’s bed, calling for ‘Mummy!’ and insisting I climb in for cuddles. Then informing me that he needs to go to the toilet and then to go and play downstairs, and as I reiterate to show I’ve understood he tells me ‘great idea Mummy!’ Will I get to do these things when I have a newborn too?
I’ve found myself taking photos of him brushing his teeth, of us snuggling together on the sofa. Enjoying falling asleep together cuddled up in my bed for afternoon naps and then later in the day curled up together reading bedtime stories; me sniffing his freshly baby shampoo’d hair. Then that moment when they fall asleep and you just stare – overwhelmed with the sheer love you have for them, the fact you created them, then grew them up from a tiny newborn baby into a real person.
Of course, there are many moments that I’d really rather forget – the daily battle over his demands for snacks instead of breakfast, the tantrums over things that seem so trivial but that fill a toddler’s world. And in these moments I wonder how on earth I’ll cope with these episodes whilst also dealing with a newborn. But I guess we’ll all learn and adjust – everyone else seems to. Our lives are about to change, and as scary as that is, I’m not losing my relationship with my first-born; just adding to it. Someone else to flood my heart, to occupy my mind and deprive me of sleep. Someone to join our adventures, our snuggles, our bath times, our bedtime stories. It may take us a little while, but we’ll find our way and I can’t wait.
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